BUBBLEGUM<33

2010-12-19T21:56:00.004+08:00

There's never a solid minute of peace whenever we are both under the same roof. When there is, it's almost once in a blue moon. And that's no hyberbole. What's weird is that I'm missing you now when you are not around. While I figured that distance would serve both of us well, I guess it's true that we should always be careful what we wish for. You annoying bother of a Brother, let's make this work okay, cause we both agree that cat fights are for babies. So for a start, we shall............ start behaving our age, howzat!

2010-12-19T00:10:00.005+08:00

family ; we are living up to it

2010-12-17T16:19:00.005+08:00

The cycle of thoughts repeats itself exhaustively in your mind. It drains every ounce of emotion in you as you ponder over the potential consequences of your actions; the gain or the pain. But life's about taking risks and you very well realise that. Sometimes in order to achieve what you want, you have to do things that you may not favour or are way beyond your capacity (or so you think). What was once seemed out of your reach is now closer to you more than ever and you owe it all to your pillars of strength. Given the better prospects of the situation, the idea of a happy ending floats into many minds.

Then, it hits you that the only reason why fairytales heavily emphasize happy endings is because it is, for a lack of a better word, a rare occurence in real life! Even before this realisation settled itself comfortably in you, that bitter bitter fickle-minded side of you had begun revealing itself. What you once religiously wished for, doesn't seem to bring much joy and happiness as you perceived it would. Reason being; the more connected you are, the less possible the idea of getting to know the person becomes.

Mhmm, how does that happen? I've yet to comprehend it myself.

2010-05-14T23:34:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, you feel like nothing can touch you.
drag you down,
or stop you from having that fuzzy wuzzy feeling that joy brings,
simply, "nothing can make me unhappy".
And the reason for such arrogance: the brick walls you've built around yourself
those walls they are there because of your own insecurities,
the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of breaking down too easily.
for being weak.
So they've proven their use,
no one close can barge in and see that delicate side of you,
you are now in control.
Then someday, you get caught offguard and the shield
you've depended on so heavily proves useless
Your arrogance have failed you. you've never expected an
acquaintance
to ever have so much power in breaking down those walls you built.
who is this aquaintance?
why him? what does it all mean?
He didn't just bring you down, he left you confused.
No
longer in
control.

2010-03-09T20:48:00.006+08:00

We're changing, but nothing changes us. Despite the toughest of hardships that we have and are going through, together or alone, neither of us should forget that we will always have each others' backs. We are not like the rest, meeting up ever so often to catch up. Talk over coffee? Not even over lesson breaks. But you know what G and M, I don't feel the slightest threatened about losing our friendship. Not the very least. We've had our fair share of arguments and misunderstandings, but we owe it to them for making us last this far. I know as I write right here right now, both of you are facing your hard times. It disturbs me just as much seeing the two of you in such bad states. Regardless, please be strong for yourself. Be strong for whoever that's worth your efforts and strengths. Be brave, Girls.

2009-11-09T19:42:00.003+08:00

hi my name is muhammad syafiq saad (dont ask me how i got here, i just did) i dont understand why nita said that because i think im wayyyyy more weird than her. like who am i kidding right? im the ultimate weird diet boy~

P.S I look best in blue

2009-11-09T16:09:00.001+08:00

hi my name is nuraznita bte juke and im very very very weird.

2009-10-26T22:34:00.003+08:00

I'm tired of keeping up with you. I'm tired of rebutting, putting my point across. Tired of giving in, losing. Of having my patience tested. I'm really tired of having that ovewhelming fear get to me first thing in the morning. Doesn't it ever get to you like how it gets to me? I don't even know if you've realised that I've given up and that you've won. truth is, there's no way it'd be the other way around.

So I'm letting my guard down,
Take a break from trying.

2009-10-06T02:00:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, that's all you really need.

2009-10-04T23:37:00.003+08:00

Set aside what I personally think, seeing you like this again brings me down just the same. I regret being there (for you). I even wish I never said what I thought were what you needed to hear. What was best for you. I don't quite know you after all. This time, you decide.

2009-07-12T22:15:00.002+08:00

As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. And this, this is a work of art.
Despite being insulted countless times, that guy in the picture is someone who forever will be there for me.

Well, these days I seem to be unhappy (notably from my msn personal messages), and I don't know why either. Exam stress perhaps? But I know there will be friends (like him) who will always be around for me to count on.

Speaking of the exams, they're here. Good luck to myself, but I know I'll be able to cope with them through my hard work.

Goodbye world, while I continue living in my world of isolation.

/
You're always so full of yourself.
But this made me smile.
Thanks, Airhead.

2009-06-13T11:15:00.004+08:00

Look. Just look at how gay and silly you've always been. You were the one who always made us laugh till we had stitches, irritate us to the point where everyone gets mad and swear they wouldnt talk to you anymore. But that was all fine, cause it was fun. Cause that was you overwhelmed with joy.

Do you know how horrible it feels to just sit behind a computer screen reading your depressing posts or texting you a message simply because that's pretty much all I can do for you right now? Comeon Di, pull yourself together already. People come and go, what's new? You deserve better, regardless whatever you have to say to defend him. We both know it, we both do. Sometimes, being left abandoned by someone you really love is good for the soul. You'll realise what you're really worth, not in anyone's eyes but your own.

It's been a rough ride, but I know you're up for it. You always are cause your super DI duper strong! (stop frowning, you should start smiling already) But really, you've been through so much you cant just crumble at this one. We make mistakes once or twice, okay maybe even thrice, but who cares as long as we learn something from it. So dont dwell on it anymore, life's toooo unpredictable to hold on to something unworthy like that.

(to dwell on yesterday's pleasures is to risk missing out on pleasures of the moment, and to dwell on past pains and tragedies is a pointless waste of energy and time)

P.S I'll give you first-hands from now on okay if it makes you happy. you're my pillar of strength too so you have to stay strong. Im behind you all the way ♥

2009-06-01T16:52:00.013+08:00

This is fifth time Im wishing you a blessed birthday. Time no longer flies, it moves wayyyyyyy too fast its a shame that the thought of catching up with it even crosses our minds. I've always had that distinct memory of us dreading the fact that we had to endure the sight of each other 24/7. Everywhere we went, everything we did we were inseparable. (ps; this is no exaggeration) Its a good thing yes, but not when youre left with no other choice. We both agreed on this didnt we, Diy? From being in the same class; sec1-sec4 + same cca +paired up as partners to the cherry that topped it all- the discovery that we were both related, it was very much a handful and indeed overwhelming.

I remember all the arguments, inane outbursts, random moodswings, the horrible tantrums. They were so regular, they made it to our our daily routine. But if there's one thing Im proud of at the end of the day, its the fact that I grew immune to them allllllllll."Stuck" was a word we used umpteenth times on each other, you havent forgotten this part have you? Now, we finally got our wish Diy. And its not as fruitful as I imagined it to be. We're no longer stuck with each other. Now, I dont fight with anyone as often as before (with exceptions of some childish guys). I dont argue about minor lame issues like who's taste is better about anything and everything under the sun. I dont get to rest my arms on a shoulder thats of the right height anymore, if yknow what I mean. There's a lot that I dont do so often as before. I miss doing these things with you you little twit, regardless the pain and annoyance you made me go through.

Youre all big and old and seventeen now. Go all out in everything that you do. Let nothing get the best out of you. I know youre having a good time in cj, Im so happy for you! I guess you've finally learnt how to be friendly aye 8P (its about time anyway) Oh oh if you wanna send regards to your (ex) crushes, I'd willingly help you do the favour hehehehehe. I mean comeon, i know you wanna know how their doing right! ahem. Doesnt mean you're one seven and no longer stuck with me now you can forget me. Forget me and (i'll bash you up) Dont change too much either k, youre fine the way you are. But maybe the moodswings part....... a little change will help.

I ♥ 24/7 LIFELINE. stay short.

Before anything, sorry I couldnt find a less-minah photo of you my self-proclaimed minahjambu. Its not as easy as you think it is yknow ;p I dont know why, but I've always been protective of you. Its like you're this small child who's so fragile and, just very fragile. I've told you this before; Whatever you do, dont ever lose yourself. Sometimes you've just got to put yourself first before the rest. Sometimes its about your happiness and not about what others might think of you. You know that I dont agree with some of the decisions that you've made for yourself and I know there's only so much I can do to change your mind. As much as I disapprove, whatever that makes you happy brings joy to me too. But at the end of the day, i'll be there if you need that shoulder to cry on, you susumon! Be a good girl ♥

after so long,

17's no big deal

real men can take jokes

blue's cool

Medan from the 3rd to 8th. Hopefully I'll return safely with a greater appreciation for life and everything that I've got within my reach right now. It's gonna be an interesting eye-opener. Count my friends and I in your prayers :)

(Taiwan must be nice) Oh btw Stalker, the next time you wanna blog for me, please rmb that I dont; (i) post pictures of myself alone (ii) use multiple colours though it lightens up the mood. Thanks anyway, it was thoughtful of you (though im sure you pretty much had nothing to do) :)

2009-04-22T20:43:00.005+08:00

Along with the massive amount of homework crushing down on me, I've been missing lots of people. Especially stalker! (:

It's sad how our schedules don't match and I haven't been meeting people that I want to for quite some time now.

Note to self: It's okay, life is good. Press on through the latenight last minute homework nita. It will all pay off, I'm sure.

<3

2009-03-31T22:18:00.004+08:00

we're only the sum of choices we make

Aida asilah made my day today. I couldn't have been any more elated.

2009-03-30T18:44:00.008+08:00

Its funny how long it's been since the beginning of it all, and yet, it only hit me today that im still living in denial. its nothing got to do with them, they are really very fine friends, but there's this tingly feeling inside me thats yet to face the truth. This is nothing temporary, I've told myself. But its not working. And i dont think, its gonna work any sooner.

Because the truth is, i still find it hard to let go. They say that if you really love someone or something, you've got to learn to let go of them. At the end of the day, if it truly belongs to you, it'll come back (thats the most cliche thing one can ever say) But no, I dont believe in that. Simply because it doesn't apply to everything and even if it does, it'll be one tough ride to the end. Damn right, its hooey.

Figuring things out never seemed so urgent yet hopeless. It's different here, but i guess all's well. I just wish we could have a little replay. I'd be really contented even if its for just a few short seconds; sitting in that cozy comfy classroom with legs folded in every possible way, being spared from the unneccessary judgements made by males, the fact that with every turn of my head I see familiar carefree faces. That priceless unspoken bond between us, it exists only within that piece of land. That, i've learn to recognise when i cant seem to find it anywhere else. And as much as I want to deny it, I cant. I wont lie cause the fact remains, I regret not cherishing the moments we had back then.

I wont do any the-people-i-miss-dearly list, that wouldnt help because they know for themselves who they are.

I've never really gotten my mind around the idea of having huge posh parties just to celebrate birthdays. It's hard for me to understand that simple fact because its the simple things in life that content me. ironic. What more can I ask for when I'm already blessed with a bunch of really adorable friends who'd go all the way out for me? I appreciate all your efforts trying to pull off a pleasant surprise for me, despite some hiccups here and there. I really do. Besides the tasty chocolate moose cake (aww heavenly!), the enourmous bear hugs and warm smiles that I got together with all the birthday wishes are more than enough reasons for me to genuinely say that I'm a lucky seventeen year old girl. And, thats real despite me feeling that it was incomplete without the presence of many, who've always been there with me during the past years. So there, my 17th was a simple one but filled with so much love and appreciation, its hard to convey. Thanks guys, every single one of you. You've made it special ♥

I call it the redundant age.

2009-01-07T17:10:00.011+08:00

it spells: STALKER

You're one of those people i know who has such an incredible ego. your nonsense can get really intolerable that im amazed at the amount of patience i have every now and then. you're so persistent and demanding sometimes, it becomes pretty exhausting to move at the pace you're going. Despite allllll that, I dont mind you being that way because I like having you around. I might regret saying this, but at least not yet. Because the way we argue bout trivial/very serious issues, how we manage each other's inanity- from deciding whether you should order macs at 0100 to hearing you cry out things that're close to your heart, they make you more bearable and human haha. We havent been talking much, but I guess/hope it wont make much difference cause it wont change us. It's been awesome, you've never failed to irritate me yet made me smile at your lameness somehow, even when im in my lousiest moods and i love you for that. you've been a great friend, ian. I missed your birthday and didnt get to wish you, but I didnt forget. I know you mind, but I'll make it up to you okay. Doesnt mean that you're 17 now, you're any bigger in all sense of the word. Dont change too much k. except for the emokid part of you, that you can forgo. Be nice to people and start reading books even though they're redundant for you!

ps. its purple cause youre gay like that.

2009-01-04T23:31:00.007+08:00

Sometimes there could be a million faces you see, countless of voices you hear and recognize. Amongst them, very few leave any traces of existence in your life, any impact to you. Both good or bad. But then again, there's more to life than just black or white. Stripes or dots. De facto, the few ones who've made a difference, the few ones who've sacrificed to guide you through the risk of darkness, shaded you some light even when the last faint flicker of hope's snuffed away, they are the ones who are worth your everything.

I know our friendship's been stagnant for some time now. Blaming change wouldnt help to purify the filthy air, not the slightest bit. We're both occupied. Occupied with commitments, we've both got a long list of it. Difference; its two different lists. But we've been there the last time, and yet we still came out strong. I hate to admit it, but now that you've got yourself an addition to your list of obligations, I realised for a fact that things would be different around here now. However hard it may be, I choose not to see it as a pithole.

I'm sorry I havent been the one giving in our friendship, that you'd seem to be the one who's been contributing, trying to keep it alive. I'm sorry. We've been through so much (shits or not) together, this inane setback cant be the one to end our friendship. We'll get back up on our feets and move on, I'll give in on my part and Im expecting the same from you, albeit everything else that we're trying hard to juggle with, to maintain our grasp on.

One thing I really feel you should know;
Yes, I'm blessed with many new friends, a great awesome bunch of them I really adore and appreciate. But none of them are like you, and none will take your spot. Who can ever beat your forever lame blonde jokes and superrr "blonde with black hair" antics? No one. (I answered despite it being a rhetorical question just in case youre trying to give me a "blonde" reply, you always do) I know you too much that sometimes I wouldnt dare to ask why you did what. Im still holding on to my Best, holding on tight. Just dont give up/in so easily, will you?

A bag full of insecurities will get you to nowhere

2008-12-24T16:48:00.006+08:00

Besides the obvious fact that I've been neglecting this site for some time now, the other not so obvious fact; I've been quite occupied lately (to say the very least) Which is pretty cool, cause getting all busy doing stuffs I enjoy is good for a change. Seen learnt experienced so much recently. But one common thing (as cliche as it can ever get) that makes anything and everything that I've gone through worth treasuring is the company, of courseeee.

Believe me when I say I've still got 56th blues. I kid you not. I know, pretty lousy uh. But I bet you I'm not the only one that I'm sure! Oh comeon guys, we know we miss it- the lectures, theaterette, yummy food (totally), sally prolly and everything under the sun really. So yes, 56th was one of those priceless moments- every minute of it. precious hands down, well to me at least (: On the brighter side, at least there's the twentyninth to look forward to (right zattt ahhah) Okay, this is a little too late but anyhow, thanks for coming on the twelfth. everyone of you; delta dearest awzm abang. I really appreciated it oh and that includes you guys (:

Special mention to the few people who've always been there throughout the course, you know who you guys are the eight of you. Asilahhhh, I want photos from our outing once you get back k! (and mhmm yeah, I guess I missed you glutton heh)

Plus the abang-adiks who've been so nice to me (ahem ahem) I dont owe you guys Ben&Jerry's still, no?

awesome possum

My CW, remember what I've told you alright. I know its in you there, somewhere. Whatever it is, I know you wont get defeated so easily.
AWZM, I still have three of your chocolates left! HAHHAH not kidding (:: when are we going out!
Stalker, you know I know. Just do what you think is best for you. But always look at both sides of the coin k. postsecretspostsecrets boo.
Azyan and A, doctors soon okay you two, really really!
Fred, no more fever muscle aches and all those bad stuffs I hope (:
MB, if you see this, I'm seriously wondering how you've been! rmb our work deal, hahahha down the drain I guess ;P

2008-11-24T00:04:00.006+08:00

Reply to -;
When you hear someone talking with an accent, any type of accent really, it'll perk you up wont it? You'd pay a little more attention, at least. But not when you open your golden mouth and start blabbering with that indonesian accent, Bf. Seriously, its a turn off! HAHAHHA. Its gonna be a very very very long three weeks we know. But hey, its not like we cant meet up right. Im sure we'll figure something out, we always do (oddly enough) Please dont make it sound as if Im going and never coming back :( technology Bf, tech tech tech! Tolong sikit eh, I only use the right way. No using of charms whatsoever (merepek seyyy, susu....ok) I'll do my best, I will thanks ::) And who are you trying to kid man. You better keep those pair of pretty eyes to yourself you you only you! If not.....you wouldn't wanna know...... I'll miss you, I guess (heheee) Doubt me eh? Be good while Im away k! 8D

best wishes + good lucks, all very much appreciated really! thanks so much, I'll do my best my best my best :)

Awzm, if anything happens I'll chant your name. awzm awzm awzm
(it better work yknow!)

Abang prolly you tengah ngorok now, so jgn marah eh i had to prepare till late. go check your mail btw, just dont laugh at me. eh reallyyy...... Oh and A, dont get bored too often cause no one's gonna entertain you! you should get your tummy checked real soon (:

2008-11-05T19:51:00.011+08:00

This would be the last of my priorities if it was any. But since three have said so (throughout the span of 16 f years), I've decided to do somthing about it. About time? Idk. But one thing I know, this bugger thought hasnt left my mind for three nights. Not appreciated. After the "tell me the truth" talk with - (which i really needed), I guess I now know where the problem lies. The fact that she agrees, makes me wonder even more who hasnt been saying the truth. Nobody said truth's easy to handle. But. Get over it, life's like that. If you really think its for my own good, then tell me. I need to know, FOR MY OWN GOOD. Slamming the truth right smack on the face isnt anything pleasant but wtf, Ive got to thank you three for that. Honesty, I dont take that for granted. So thank you. It may be for my own good, it may not (-, your cue to push me off the cliff) All I've got to do is go ahead and dont look back. To regret is another story. I may owe you for this, one day.

Believe me when I say Ive put much thought into it. It is going to be up on my priorities' list. No kidding, I just dont get why you'd have to be bothered with things that aren't your priorities, yet give so much thought and time to it. Havent you had more than enough in your hands? To just touch and go, thats basically it for me. At this point in time who cares anyway. Nevertheless, Im gonna risk it all and find out on my own cause only time will tell yadayada all that nonsense, though I've got alot at stake. And then, we'll see how it turns out. Worse comes to worse, nothing changes which really isnt such bad thing. Confused? Good for you. Spare yourself, cause its driving me nuts! But really, I'll be bothered from now on. Cause I care. I care. I care. I will

If you can somehow relate to this whole chunk of words you've just read, then we're prolly on the same boat. But if its such a peculiar scenario you'd never think you'd come across, think again. I reckon you dont be so sure about that because nobody will be spared in a life like this; When you've got to think so much, it drains every single living cell out of you. It may not be the same, but similar at least. That's a fact.

Sekalipun pahit, kebenaran harus disampaikan~

--
The Moon's gorgeously yellow, tonight.

2008-10-27T22:51:00.011+08:00

Now, we've always wondered what that liyana norman aspires to be when she grows up haven't we? With all her weird facial expressions plus the irritating duckish voice, quite a brain teaser isnt it? Di, go figure go figure. I wasted so much time thinking about it, mhmm not really ah cause the answer's quite obvious actually hahahha. Wanna know?

1. visit bottledbeadies@lj
2. read 27/10 entry
3. saw the two cowboy hats?
4. good, now see this!

Cmon, it couldn't have been more obvious rightttttt! So, cowgirl or what? Are you up for it not? First, this posed-pic (thinking you look so cool with it on) Then, the obsession over those hats! Sheeeesh. Still, wa caya sama lu ah half~ Go for it, all the way all the way hahahhah. But eh, quit being so gay okay (geli geli)

Anyhow, today's a great start for the week. Way better than yesterday, thank god. And for a big chunk of that, I owe it to you two. You know who you are im sure and please, im still praying for the best okay! You should too, dont laugh at me. Well, I really hope for the best :)

You worried me when you didnt reply my msg (esp when i msged to both of your numbers) But Im glad youre still in one piece. Dont put too much pressure on yourself alright. You'll get your As, you'll get your distinctions. Rmb that one time when you gave out small pieces of paper with "A1" printed on them? You've worked so hard. Now, dont let anyone or anything, even yourself, hinder you from getting it. Have faith Di. (ps, i got a mosquito bite above my lips after i read your blog lolla)

BF, stop dreaming okay 8)

2008-10-26T23:43:00.006+08:00

I'd prefer 3 consecutive mondays with all the annoying dumb blues instead of today. Anything but today, anything. 26/11; Bad day. Scratch that, the whole week's been horrid (minus the papers) i guess, today's the cherry to top it off. oh how sweeeet.

You knew you've crossed the line, but you didnt give a heck about it. For the record, if this is how you're gonna do it, then so be it. But why do you keep making it so hard for everyone else? Everything that you've done hasn't made things any easier for yourself. In fact, you're just destroying it all. I know, stay that way. Cause i'll be the spectator from now on. Im losing hope.

Decisions, choices, decisions and choices. One after the another. Cmon, give me a break. Every other issues aside, its all about priorities. I've mine, but im guessing it wont hurt (much) giving in this once. If im proven wrong, then too bad for me. But Im willing to take the risk, for their sake.

-
I've been missing quite a number of people lately, though some i see quite often and even told them that they are missed a couple of times. Of course with people like sharah, she wouldnt reply and even if she does, she'd have that look on her face heh heh heh. If you're reading this esp if i rarely see you around, you're missed (awzm)(abang)(stalker)

Anyway, i know you'd never be reading this but if you are then that's weird. Yeah, I was disappointed, but you gave me hope though the slightest. I cant make out whats going to happen next but i'll put that thought aside. Im glad to know that you'd be there. Thanks glutton, thanks to the both of you appreciated much (: ps. you'd always be kental in my eyes, dont worry alright!

2008-10-16T19:15:00.005+08:00

You guys made my painful (literally) day so much more bearable, and for that I owe you guys one. Thanks so much every single one of you namely half, durg, mb, ayah and them -the fact that they were there made me feel that I had to put a strong front. I tried but it didnt last long, it was soo bad~

Just for the record: Never never act on impulse.

Scaring the hell out of every single person around you is one thing, troubling even strangers is another. Then again, you gave us 1001++ more reasons to do the same. Cmon it's time to grow up, kid. Stay strong.

2008-10-09T00:16:00.001+08:00

On the verge of

2008-09-29T22:38:00.004+08:00

I'm Here For You;
"If life's a little tough sometimes
and things are looking blue
remember troubles that are shared
are always halved in two.
So any time you need me
do please get in touch,
for I think about you often
and I care so very much"

i couldnt have asked for any better mentor.
she's just amazing, and i wouldnt trade her for anything.
you're one of the reasons i'm working real hard right now.

2008-09-21T17:25:00.014+08:00

"Often times of crisis are times of discovery, periods when we cannot maintain our old ways of doing things and enter into a steep learning curve. Sometimes it takes crisis to initiate growth."
-Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

And, now is it.

2008-09-19T22:58:00.002+08:00

its not always about preference but as a matter of fact; choice. maybe its just a phase mayyybe it is just a phase. if it turns out otherwise, then thats really sad. cause just for the record, right here right now, i cant find you in the big picture.

2008-09-16T16:06:00.013+08:00

plucking.weeds.wasnt.as.bad.as.i.thought.

IY4G3,with all my heart

walking has never be so aimless until I walked with other Half. i geddit, she's fickled but cmon i asked her more than tweeeenttyyy times and she kept answering in her ducky voice; "ehhh dont ask me ahh..." fine stay that way. nasib baik awak, sesungguhnya aku berpuasa. bumped into nightmare enemy. my goooodness, what luck. so now you know, half. i've met people who're freakier than you. thats like horrid considering you're freaky to da max. and mind you, since when did we cookied? we didnt okay, we didnt spout any nonsense till we parted rightt. ohhh and you know what, that kid kept on sneezing till i alighted. pooooor kid okay! only when i wanted to offer him tissue, did he stopped sneezing. but thankgod he did, i thought he never will.

ps. geylang is not kental -my can make it angry face

so i've decided. only nice words will come out of my mouth. and btw sha/tas, who'd pronounce milk as meeeeyeeeeeeuuuuuullllkkkkkk? i dont. hahahhahaha \/

dont tremble anymore bf. like what i told you before, im sure you still look good despite it. besides, im glad it doesnt really pose any danger. i hope so it doesnt. and please, i will get over it. in fact i already am so stop mentioning it already will you. im not affected (fine maybe a tiny bit) hahahahhha its a sad story, dont deny it!

you made me awwww for the longest time i ever rmb. but hey, i miss seeing your annoying face every single day. i still cant forget us singing amazing without a heck about the poor humans around us. hahahha we were the only people in our world and soo veryyy addicted! plus, your bad habit of not eating your vegeees and dumping them onto my plate. you and so many others (or was it just diy?) mhmm, that was 2 donkey years ago and i cant believe it. we will catch up soon, promise. but first, stop trying to be outstanding with your different shade of yellow pe shirt! hahhaah, it is outside standing okay. i totally can spot you from afar la. make sure you can make it for friday's break fast okay :) kalau tak, saya mogok lapar.

33 days to Os

wake up, nita(!!!!)

2008-09-14T00:37:00.008+08:00

1. There are 30 questions.
2. Next to each number, write only the name of the person who fits.
3. Answer one question with one name.
4. Don't tell the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme.
(PS: If you see your name and agree to do the meme, then I'll send you the questions.)

MY MEME(s):

1. Other Half, its true
2. Delta (4 years with so many ups&downs isnt short)
3. -
4. other half, again
5. stalker
6. wong yee wen, 100% confirm chop stamp
7. suzuki yukiii and only suzuki yukiii
8. nurul mira fatin
9. 24/7 helpline. rare nowadays
10. bestfriend
11. tasneem (but not with humans)
12. delilah
13. AWEZOME
14. Ayah chan, hands down.
15. Curvy
16. Ahpek, that small little thing
17. azyan
18. kalyn chewww, she calls herself one cmon
19. rab adawiyah
20. ks
21. -
22. Shahilah childcare
23. mhmm my brother, KIDDANG. idk...
24. TERAN
25. Adik, i kid you not (ive got proof)
26. -
27. Sulastri ryanti (!)
28. Diana amazingggg (event of the year)
29. FN, my goodnessssss
30. just for laughs haw haw

we talked too much its already 0240 -massages eyebags

i miss awzm

2008-09-13T12:36:00.007+08:00

"i dont know why you want t be stuck with sucha loser like me but thank you very much for always being my pillar of strength. esp you, Other half."

now that you've asked, i wonder why i stuck around too. kiddang. dont question me like that cause im more that glad i've been there for you, Other half.

i rmb everything.

i rmb every single nonsense we did under the sun.. and moon, all the cheeeaapp thrills we had like there's really nothing else way more cheap-thrilling, all the googoogaagaa-ing over the most beautiful people in the whole wide world quote unquote you. you name it. we had the bestest times, dont you think so? the more i think about it, the more it seems like we're totally meant to be stuck with each other. like cmon, i see your blur face wherever i go whether i like it or not most of the time the latter~ fact that you're always the person i get partnered with (unfortunately) once upon a time ago proves my theory hands down. but what tops my list is our classic, most used statement- EHH ENGKAU LAGI!?!! (fface) hahaha we use it allll the time its become our greeting when we see each other right? like how cool is that. but hey, i miss those times as much as you do. i miss malacca trip (you nearly ditched me on an alien island, i still hate you for that btw) rmb how you were so fickled about your clogs? i swear i could've ate up a tub of fishballs! (i take forever to chew on those bouncy round balls i kid you not) tell me you still have those clogs with you, i bet you do. you better rmb this one; your whinings bout how you should've spent your money(!) it'd be fine if it happened only for perak. but ohnooooooo, you did the same silly 'ol thing in china tooooo. best of all, you whined whined whined your way to the same person about it. poor her, you whined so much she grew immune to it. Guess who? go figure im not telling. one thing's for sure. you, Other half should learn to stop whining. God! i cant agree more, cheena trip's the cherry on top. will always be. jaywalking on the most bustling road in the middle of hangzhao never felt so accomplishing; like wow we made it alive, again. mhmm besides the fact that we take almost forever to cross the street that is hahah. well Dad never fails to amaze me too. we were perfectly fine having awesome mutton noodles at the cozy shop down the street. (the noodles were surprisingly good rmb? yum) but Dad just had to. he reminds me of those loving but always stuck with work type. sad we didnt get to see much of him. of all the things about Mum i rmb, its her smile i rmb most. i bet you rmb her calling out just my name to wake you up, dont you half? despite us being horribly naughty daughters, she treated us as if we were her own. all the communication barriers aside, we definitely had the most wonderful time shopping with her. rmb our search for chocolate ferroro rochers flowers? omgod i dont think anyone could've tolerated our silly grins as well as she did. no doubt.

dont cry? surprise surprise, i did.
i may complain too much at times bout being stuck with you. but you very well know i dont mean it (okay maybe abit) i bet you love seeing my face all the time too dont deny it.
YOU MAY NOT MAKE SENSE HALF THE TIME WHEN YOU TALK, but no one can replace you.
(because im your half)

05092008

(my life story)

2008-09-03T22:27:00.006+08:00

no fun

sick=unproductive=doomed for prelims

break

2008-08-29T19:55:00.004+08:00

Expected a happy ending, but it didnt happen. Pretty much the first in awhile. I guess tear-free endings are so cliche we expect them almost all the time. And when it doesn't happen, it comes as a disappointment. Funny how we know its rare, yet we put our hopes up high for it.

Im glad she knows she's not on track. Stay focus, half.

next in line,

2008-07-15T20:21:00.008+08:00

ALPHA 05

BRAVO06
CHARLIE07

DELTA08

Sometimes, it's pretty amazing when I think of how much we've grown together as a part. From a bunch of naughty naughty, vvv hard to handle cadets to who we are today (though we're still naughty), we've faced so so many setbacks head on and yet we're still standing strong today. We've always been the odd one out, different from the rest. We might not have been the best cadets or leaders. But in my eyes, Delta08 will always be the outstanding one. Cause one thing's for sure, we make history.

I miss all thirteen of you.

I wish you the best. The time has finally come, it's your show now.
Make it a good one :)

stagnant.

2008-06-14T20:39:00.005+08:00

/edit
They started off pretty strong it was kinda impressive. But I guess, its not a big loss we didnt make it to the next round. In fact, its a good thing if you think about it. Ohwell, khairul amri was good. Shahril Ishak, hahah! Maybe someday, young lions.

-
So, I guess you got it wrong. Wait, in case it didn't hit you what you did in the first place wasn't right at all. Bravo for your determination, but persistance that gets out of hand is beyond
patience limits.

I think I've put this birthday wish on hold for some time now. Nope, I haven't forgotten about it. Happy __ birthday Cikgu! (I wont disclose your age, haha dont worry) Honestly, you've been the best, really. You've always been the understanding and patient one. You gave us what we needed; your guidance. And for that, we owe you big time. If not for your dedication, we wouldnt have gotten those grades. Not cliche okay, its the truth. Anyhow, thanks for the treat the other day! We'll treat you sometime soon, though its supposed to be your birthday treat haha. Dont forget us, Rinarians always Y

110608, one word. Nostalgic. Everything that happened during the reunion was like a flashback. I felt like a sec1/2 all over again, literally actually. I'm not being mushy wushy or anything, but its the fuzzy wuzzy feeling that you get when having them around. If you get what I mean (Other half, I know you do) Though the turn up was less than expected, it was still great! I miss those times when life was wayyy more carefree and we'd waste time doing silly stuffs in school. Oh anyway, there was this person he's cute to the max. Adyl baby's the ultimate kawaii! Totally made my day, that shyfy joker! He's no baby, he's four actually. Mhmm my definition of baby isnt limited to those who cant walk or talk. Hahah heh.

Of course, it would've been more fun if Other half was there. Anyhow, thanks for buying me the kite. We'll play it one day :) And... Please take your meds, I dont care if you said youre "alive and kicking". Dont be stubborn okay. Get well soon, sayang kau. Eh eh rmb this; (Dunia wa, wa cinta) Sub in dunia with setengah. Hahha tak merepek hookay.

Bytheway bestfriend, Im smarter than a fifth grader even though it took me some time to figure it out. I drew some model but it helped so yay :) Have you cut your hair? ps; I want photos sharing folders vvv wols!!!

leave

2008-06-07T00:16:00.010+08:00

Go ahead, lie your way through. Cut it out, you're digging your own grave.

freedom of speech. limits.

2008-06-03T22:07:00.006+08:00

Everything's safe with me so no worries. Everyone has a fair share of them, no big deal really. Only those who did it would understand. If you didnt, go figure. Strange as it seems, some are getting too brave.

On a (wayyy)lighter note,

When silence isn't golden

Happy sixteenthhh kiddo! Cant believe you've turned sixteen when just yesterday you were still acting like you were six years youngerrrr haha. So, now that you're sixteen stop being childish (quote unquote yourself) already okai. Uhm wanna know why I always look forward to school? Nah, its not cause of favourite (expired) You know the answer, stop grinning yee wen. You've always made boring and dry lessons superrr hilarious sometimes and vv fun somehow. Rmb when we talked about your cle guy and sang your composed song: nananana? Hahah sheesh. But anyhow, its really great having you as my ptr, ptr! (repeated umpteen times heh) Uhm one more thing, dont think I forgot the "but there's no Jane in the question" incident & your boyfriend whom I kept breaking into many pieces hehe! Love you very much silly ptr :)

Blank canvas

2008-05-31T23:48:00.005+08:00

Remember your childhood crush or whoever that follows soon after? Now now, dont start giggling yet. Something all of us do whether we want to admit it or not: CLICK Giggle/hide your face with your pillow/whathaveyou only when you're done please. If you know what I mean :)

To those who think they need it, good luck and all the best. It's going to be a tough one ahead. Though its merely four days of obstacles. Have an aim, know what you want/why you want it. It doesn't matter if you dont get what you want/worked hard for. What matters is that you did your best. If you did, nothing else matters. We have faith in you, make us proud.

Right smack in your face.

2008-05-30T21:42:00.005+08:00

If that was not heartbreaking/disappointing/younameit, than I dont know what is. I doubt you know all those things you said left a huge impact on us. Maybe you do, but only after it was made known to you (oh cmon) Boy, thanks for the wake up call. Now we realise we are nowhere near success. In any case, I apologise.

Ohwell, don't tell me life's like that. Anything cliche, I just can't accept right now.

With that chucked aside(not for long),

I was touched with your post bestfriend(!) say aww. I realised that I use this pic vvv often right which means that we have to take more pics okay? Okai. I miss you so much too, I will see you soon alright!

Dont think you'd be reading this, but but I miss you awezome! Enjoy while it lasts and nope I'm not jealous just cemburu. Have fun! (esp the day+night flight back home) Oh, and jgn fall for ang moh guys ehh hehe.

Halfhalfhalfhalfhalfhalf, hate you for always making me doubt my sense of humour when youre the one who takes so long to understand the jokes. Anyhow, dont stress yourself out too much! (kesian half..) Nanti ywz tak suka.. Oh btw if any of youre reading this, I laughed my heart out looking through our kentalan pics! again. tak boleh angkat, im gonna post it up sooner or later watch out for them haha.

Azyan - cause we're only almost here (11:25PM):
(tapi kalau teringin tu, sila-sila blog pasal saya juga lol selit selit ke, hahah)
Translation: But if you want, do blog about me add in here and there. Thats azyan for you. I thought about it and to me, its more of a matter of circumstances that you have to face when making those choices. There's no right or wrong but you have to know what you really want. Anything done on impulse is never a wise choice. But hey, since __ came to you then uhm why not? Haha well, youre a smart kiddo. Make the right choice. (jetty jetty)

Caught off guard

3 years ago,

2008-05-23T23:08:00.005+08:00

diana diyana fadilah hayyu liyana nasuha rabiatul

Being the kentalans that we were(past tense past tense), we called ourselves slackerszxz(cheychey). I miss you guys so much. Looking at the pictures we took donkey years ago makes me laugh so bad. I have the urge to post it up but I wont, tak snono haha. Rmb our stairs and fitness corner shots? Haha we were innocent kids. But when I looked at the pictures you guys took recently, I feel like crying. No, not emo. Just very nostalgic. Everything's too fast. So.. Full clique outing please, goliy!

one step at a time

2008-05-23T19:31:00.006+08:00

The bestest Susumon & Chipmunk everrrrr

Sayang kamu berdua sangat-sangat, sungguh!

Bibikku si tua (hehe), dont go mad at me for posting up this vvvv (ego) inspiring picture of you eh! I wont use stuck like you always do, but its been a great 4 years with you. say aww. Reduce on your berangan-ing about you know what, tak sihat haha. Whatever it is, may you get a chance to see your kibum one fine day if that makes you happy, idiot. (See how long it'll last!)

You have one on the most beautiful voices I've ever heard. Like what I told you, never never stop singing okai! Remember there was this time, we had this horrible misunderstanding? I dont remember much about it (insignificant really) but it was vvv buruk right? Anyhow I'm really glad we're all fine happy people now :) One more thing, whatever you do dont think too much alright danceptr?

Oh one more one more!

The recent but vvv sudden going-home-together with you have been pretty satisfaying catching up sessions right Rabudu (hehe jgn marah ye) Well well, why not now that you've turned sixteen you try something new like.. Start smiling more and no more emo emo pictures! I know you dont find the need to walk down streets flashing a wide smile, you love the fact that people get scared of your dao face. But why not, you have a nice smile anyway (dah jgn pergi kembangan eh) Anyhow, I know what you're going through right now is hard on you. You dont have to go through it alone. You know I know what you should do if you need to rant/scream at someone right? More talking (making use of spare time) sessions please hahah!

I like today. No. I love today! Thanks thanks Sharah dearest for helping me out plus the free ride i owe you one :) Please stop mentioning about the box okai, it wasnt heavy no worries. And thanks to you too, I bumped into my Awezomeeeeee person yay! Aww aww aww finally I have a little more faith in fate. What took fate so long man haha. But hey, it was vvv unexpected and I walked off with a grin on my face only Sharah knew how stoopeed I looked. Ps: My cheeks still hurts. Okay kiddang.

Figured out

so i'm letting you fly.

2008-05-15T18:05:00.006+08:00

Dear mom, You're probably gonna smack me for putting your face up there, but i really dont mind. I don't have much to say. Its hard to put it in words anyway. But Mom, You're second to none.

An addition to our series of unexpected events, Delta. Thanks to our ambitious dreams of being just like them (on the left) since sec ones, we managed to pull it through. If not for Delta '05, there wouldn't be been any (cool)nerds that night. And of course, to those who supported Ave D'lario, thank you very much you touched us! Awezome night, crescent did well :)

Reminisced about primary school times, nostalgic. i now wish i can have those moments back, because being carefree was something i took for granted. yet, i never regretted having to carry on, because the memories made in crescent have all been nothing but cherished.

fragile like that.

2008-05-05T13:32:00.004+08:00

I hope you're still here. I felt sorry when I saw you laying face-down on the tarred road. I felt disgusted with those who talked as though they knew what was going on, like they were in control of your fate and it was all your fault. I felt sorry you had to be there, surrounded by on-lookers who did nothing but kept on looking. I'm sorry I couldn't help. The moment I saw your motionless body, I looked away. While others came closer to the window to get a better look, I backfaced you as we drove by. I didn't turn back. But I never stop praying for you, stranger.

2008-04-21T20:08:00.007+08:00

Today's an awezome start to the week. Why?

I saw that side of you I've never seen. To you its it over friendship? Thats sad. I hope thats not true and that you'd realise the more important things in life, soon enough.

Cant believe You were all I thought about during I'm gifted. I'm sorry but now I know where I stand. It has always been him, first. You just dont care dont care.

It rained when I was in the bus home. Nevermind the fact that I had no umbrella but some nice soul just had to drive his van past me and drench me. fooohhh.

Called dad (ngadu nasib) Cherry on top; He totally had to laugh at me. wah thanks pa.

People fall, they get trapped. But its okay, nothing changed (if you know what I mean) Just dont do anything stupid I'm fine with it, I guess.

Midyears in 2 days.

edit//

7. Okai, so point 1 is half true/half untrue. (good bad idk)

think +ve. we'll pull through. yeah baby (quote unquote)

which reminds me, i hope tas did great for her match. you always do babe :) if youre reading this, i'll tell my aunt you liked her putri salat haha. and yesss i'll bring some more if there's any left okai (just for you you know) and teran get well soon! yw's killing me with her nonsense. she likes some minister who's married with two kids! errr, thats your twin for you :P

Cmon, read between the lines

2008-04-08T00:13:00.005+08:00

when people say get over it, do you really shove whatever's bothering you into the darkest corner without having the slightest thought about it anymore? thats a little too drastic i feel but it seems perfectly realistic to you. in fact, you do it so effortlessly im impressed. im not trying to say that you dont care anymore.. but thats exactly what youre putting across to me. as much as i wanna deny it, i cant cause the truth's right in front of me. what more in black and white.

if you are reading this, you should know who you (wicked people) are. i'll fly one day and thats a promise from me to you meanies (inside joke) honestly right, i gave you all chance la today so dont be too happy about it ah.. if it wasnt because of my good mood, it would have been a gone case i tell you.. haha chey.

okay best! so i had a great talk with dad today :) welll its always nice talking to him. its all good cause i can talk about almost everything under the sun with that man. it was very random. i vomitted everythinggggg out in front of his face haha fooh it felt good i couldnt stop myself :P so the poor man listened patiently to all his daughter's pain and sufferings, he didnt even blink once. (okay exaggeration im too caught up) but what can i say, thanks to you dad my conscious' clear now. sayanglah dia (L)

ps. i miss awezome person :( bang into you soon okay haha fat hope! and tolong sikit eh, you sounded like a cool babe (it didnt suck at all hookay)

2008-04-06T19:46:00.006+08:00

you dont think i know whats reallyy going on, i guess you thought i wouldnt find out the truth. nope, not gonna happen cause i already do. and wowee, im very very very surprised.. a little taken aback rather. youre really good at this arent you? hahah i enjoyed the joke very much thank youuu. be proud of yourself man, you did great. your plan was flawless.

i learnt something today (yay me!) well i'll keep it short. when you hear masquerades what do you think of? those awezome and gorgeous masks thats me for you. but no matter how beautiful they all are, you'd never know who really lies under those masks. until they reveal themselves of course. question is, are you set for the truth? be smart, or you might just backfire yourself.

2008-03-21T07:51:00.003+08:00

i realise that people around you really have lots of things to say about you. yeah both good and bad. thats how it is all the time right? sad to say its more of the latter. i might not be your greatest friend (i know where i stand) but its upsetting to hear them say such stuff. not that what they're saying are lies or some one-sided issues. its true what they said/are saying, and thats the part i wish you could change. for yourself. i know for a fact that you arent as bad as they think you are, but there's only so much i can do.

dad woke me up superrr early today. fine its 7 but thats early okay! yeah sleepyhead me. he ended up going out with mum to buy many more stuff for chalet later without needing me. wait, its a good thing i guess cause i havent packed! okay best i have time now. i just pray it wont rain later or for the next two days, at least not so heavy. i shall do the rain dance with brother later just in case. (haha joker sey) so chalet's at downtown east. why do i keep talking about chalet? maybe im running out of things to say :/ life's getting dull these days anyway. ohwell.

OH. just to brighten up your day a little, i shall share a joke with you! random okay best.

okay so there's this guy, he only had 3 strands of hair on his pretty head. then he decided to pluck out the center hair and leave himself with only 2 strands of hair. why did he pull out the center one? start rubbing your chins hahah..

the answer is (ahem!) he wanted a CENTER PARTING!!

dont you think its funny ohmygodd. i know by now some of my lovely pltms are giving me that cold stare. cmon its hilarious what.. fine, nehmind if you dont so. hoho! anyway, credits to fahmi! good joke big guy 8) at least i think it is heh heh.

saya rindu all the hell yeahs. saya rindu shouting out the war cry. saya rindu all the fixed meal times. saya rindu all the merepek (but comel) claps. saya rindu the silly competition that alpha bravo always had. saya rindu orang-orang di sana. sungguh menyeronokkan, rindu banget! ♥

you're so so faraway

2008-03-21T00:41:00.004+08:00

if you consider staying up till two in the morning wrapping presents with the mother quality time, then mom and i spent some quality time together today. she(we) shopped till we dropped. she(we) wrapped till we crapped.

foooh, i know im not talking any sense. i need sleep.

chalet till sunday and im bringing my books along! (kamsahamnida diy!) this is happening because of: my guilty conscious must study must study must study!!!

though it was just 6/15, i still had fun (: wayang-wayang alot, plus window sightseeing was unexpectedly appealing hahah! (ahem)

what place did I come in your heart?

2008-03-19T17:14:00.002+08:00

i flipped through those pictures.

i smiled at those silly convos.

i read those random emails.

i'll be frank, i miss you. alot.
then again, i dont know why its so sudden.
hopefully everything's fine over at your side.

real love, rmb?

2008-02-29T20:10:00.002+08:00

I'll do it for the other 62.

I dont know who you're anymore. Pretence, maybe. Seconds are all it takes for you to change something/everything. One moment things are fine, but the next you'd purposely make things hard. It's no exaggeration thats exactly how you make it seem. It's exhausting just to face up to you, racing between two extremes; emotions. I'm still holding in but if you decide that it'd just be a one-sided effort, then thats sad cause you've hit my jackpot.

What did time do to us?

Had a great time catching up with some awezome mates. Sometimes it takes true experiences to knock some sense into you. If you fail to realise then too bad friend cause second chances dont come easily, right? Anyhow, I enjoyed your company after so long of absence. Plus of course your surreal dreams, totally you. But hey, whatever it is that comes along remember that you're the one making a choice so its all on you. Do whatever it takes, I have faith in you ♥

Do you know me at all?

2008-01-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

Goodbye January. this year's gonna fly past fast.

like a habit, i walked down the lane again

2008-01-29T20:58:00.000+08:00

Texted you, and i meant well. if you find it either a bother or a nuisance, just leave it as it is. it hasnt been the same and yknow that for a fact. with treatment/attitude like this, nothing will go nowhere. whatever the case, beep me if you change your mind.

I know it never hit you, not at least a single time. asking for something from others but doing the exact opposite all the time. you never learnt. watching others going through the hardship again and again, like a flame being lit and blown off repeatedly. you never learnt. same dirty tricks, same old you. you never learnt. sometimes, its good to have some changes yknow.

thursday, hopefully things go well.

anyhow, go watch coffeeeprince if you havent! im addicted thanks to some people. kthxbye (:

imyc, we'll pull through.

2007-12-29T20:25:00.000+08:00

yknow that feeling when you just wanna be alone in your room and think about something and everything under the sun? im feeling right that now, and it isnt random. ive been feeling very lousy these days god knows why.

i dont think you'd be reading this. anyhow, i just hope that you've learnt your lesson. it wasnt worth it, and i trust you when you made that promise. even though its over, dont let it slip your mind. yes you freaked me out but im really glad youre fine now. you're smarter than that, we know.

if you see this, thanks for the card. thanks for the "roller coaster ride", more of. just so yknow ive always meant what i said. i dont hate you thats out of the question. i made that decision because i think its the best for the both of us. you seem like you've moved on and thats really good news for me. you can still come t me if you need t talk bout that something only i know. im sorry but it wouldnt be like the old times. i just cant, dear friend.

let me ask you. would you like it when someone barges into your life and makes you do things (im putting it in nicer terms here) oh tell me you're human, cause then the answer's obvious. you may think that everything's alright because you're calling the shots now. but did it cross your mind that you're making others feel so lowly about themselves?

i know you secretly love me despite our silly 24/7 fights

on a muchhhh brighter note, look who's turned a year older :) happy belated dearest bestfriend/worstenemy/secretbuddy/brobother. it seems like its been only a few months since the last time i did a birthday entry for you here. time flies fast, and you're a tall big guy now. you've changed, for the better and that shall remain (i hope) i love you dear brother :)

I'll cheer up

2007-12-27T21:23:00.000+08:00

you left me with the impression that youre wise enough to know all these by yourself. afterall, its not like its your first time. frankly, im disappointed in you. ive seen that side of you before. but where did it go? maybe just maybe, ive too high expectations of you.

the blog's half dead, just that tags' still coming in. hahah yes, tags replied finally :) mia period, tonssss of things happened (not exaggerated) novcamppinpoppds. worthwhile, definitely! first camp; memorable (understatement) im still having camp pin blues though, gahhh. the paddlepop treat, late night baths, reflection sessions, auditoriums (for a gd reason). i miss all that. and of course, my gbb <3

PDS. Charlie will do it good, yes we will :)

i thought you knew. but now, i guess not. what you did made a difference. and its making me feel really lousy :(

the supers of the day, jinxy

i dont expect miracles when it comes to you

2007-12-03T06:22:00.000+08:00

silence means consent. maybe, maybe not.

2007-12-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

greenboy. nobody knew.

i thought about it, reminisce they call it. you still crack me up like old times. just that now, its different. im trying to laugh it all off. go figure.

they say that when you fall, youve got to pick yourself up fast. but is it always a good thing to be able to remedy yourself and leave everything else behind? personally, i dont think so.

i realise that they're all the same. pathetic two out of many? ah yes, im assuming. but it still leaves an impression and im sticking with it. i dont care if its called generalisation cause to me it seems that its true! i dont need anymore encounters to prove me so, more than enough i'd rather say. playful insincere liars, deserve no mercy!

temporary happiness, short sweet and greeen

2007-11-14T20:10:00.000+08:00

"bad things happened today, but so what? im sure something good is waiting for me just down the road." noddy, yes the one with th red hat, youre good. thank you(!) it cheered me up a little, at least.

there's no escape from pressure

2007-11-13T20:41:00.000+08:00

th rest might be disappointed in you. im not all disappointed. because i knew all along you were capable of doing such stuffs. tho you didnt have t prove me all that yknow. fine, you have your own stand. people fall i know, but they dont fall all th time. yeah you get out of one shithole and then fall into another. how long's that gonna go on, forever?

look, this whole thing. dont do smth and end up making yourself look like a loser. i know you'll get yoursef out of this mess eventually. but if you dont act fast enough, there might not be any exit for you anymore. do smth smart, before its too late. rmb, 08's crucial. yknow that for yourself. whatever it is, i'm here. i wont do what you did. yes, you still suck for that. what will you get when you take a whole divided by two? yeah you.

anyway rab, thanks for today. one of those who made my day, thanks. proton pppp and babies' laughters, they were cute. just so yknow, im not jiwang/merd wtv you call it. definitely not perempuan jepun who talks bahasa melayu. and pls, hate that i love you is not a happy song you narcist person (self-proclaimed)

there's alot of cherries t top it off. i've had more than enough. tell me if youre craving for some cause i'll be more than happy t give it all up t you i swear.

what happens when youre torn between two? what happens when youve just be torn apart from someone youre with 24/7? ask me in a week's time, and i'll tell you whats most likely t happen. once i finish reading the book.

down that dark alley, yet again

2007-11-13T07:06:00.000+08:00

everything's good. and im a happy kidddd (oooh yeah!)

2007-11-12T21:09:00.000+08:00

i get the picture. its okay, it doesnt matter(how i wish). i know its not easy for you i can tell, so i'll get this burden off your shoulders. i dont know myself, but its not like you even care.

"take calculated risks. that are quite different from being rash."
i'll try, i will.

see that empty space there?

2007-11-12T19:19:00.000+08:00

say the magic word: blobblob (smth only we know)
and i swear you'll end up in the wackiest(!!) craziesstt (!!!) fun ever! its been some time since we've let loose a little unlike always. indeed, today was great. from wo mei you qian/ botakpeeboy to a refreshing good game of captain's ball (best!) then the not so productive self-study and the best blobbbbing session(connie's th funniest!) you can ever have, charlie was there all the way. it couldnt have been better, if only venus was there.

well anyway t dearest fad, yes i was looking at you th whole day. do th right thing kay, youre smart enough i know. worth it? doesnt matter so cheer up! yknow you love me hahah (:

t my one and only combat aerobic/fighting ptr, i'll miss you like peeboys! yknow what i mean, im serious. hahah and you ryhan, you better be good t her ah. anw, you dont deserve any nasi lemaks frm wendy kay ha ha. i'll miss punching & making you fall no doubt bracia! thanks for everything gracia dear :D

so, pds is pretty cool. thanks alot diy, nak lagi eh (: and i'll bet you that you'll have a great time having adik as your pds ptr, no worries. right adik? oooh yeah.

i wish i could make you see

2007-11-11T22:09:00.000+08:00

tho you fart at me most of th time (HA HA, kidding)

i still love you sonther

you, and your wacky/crazayye antics

look who's turned fab fifteen! hahah. now that youre already ayear older, being more mature will definitely help (: so, "pls learn how t wear dresses/tubes (not towels you dumdum)" if you wanna have some of others' food, better share yours too! uhhuh, im keeping my word. you just wait for your present (confirm chop stamp: food) i love you alot adik (: you better be good alright! HAPPY BELATED 15th ADIK :D

kusangka permata, rupanya kaca
kusangka kawan, tapi kusalah

2007-11-09T23:39:00.000+08:00

you are good, so so good. but not a second worth anyone's time. i'll enlighten the whole world about the fine truth one day. but until then, all you'll get will be praises which will make your alr swelled head bigger. i cant find a reason why, but ohwell who knew. yabpihy (beat that)

so sheena's back, all bruised up & wounded. poor kid, take care yow (: stop making me panic and all, learn t take long breaths. hey im a happy kid, but make me a happier one (share the joy kay)

diy, 360 diygree turns make me dizzayye! hahah but its fun (: fikir fikir, masih belum habis!

gracia teo si-en, cepat come back. we're missing you so bad. treasure your last moments kay, their so precious like golden hashbrowns (boo,im hungry) i rmb half&me sobbing right after the plane took off. we stunned th stewardess, i actually rmb her expression ha ha. such crybabies, but you cant blame us. makes me wonder how emotionally attached i can actually be with people whom ive known for only ten days. but then again, who knew?

not much of a wake up call, but not a sleepmywaythrough either. idk.

ugly, the harsh truth

2007-11-04T23:46:00.000+08:00

words collide,

2007-11-03T19:15:00.000+08:00

maybe its getting better (pls be better), i pray for the best. but just so yknow you're still in my good books, that wont change so yes (:

what happened, happened.
nth's gonna change, or will it?
dont get me wrong.

fifteen is good enough dont you think so fad? i know you do ha ha. jgn jealous kay. (thankgod for mom&dad) HAHA inside joke. dont forget t look good in your ic hookay, he he.

(ysaframissedshots)

its up t you t tell me what you really feel, whenever youre ready.

2007-11-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

dear friend,
youre not helping.
but thanks for what you did.

that five letter word seems harmless, how i wish it was.
try it on me, and yknow what happens next? go figure.

leave it behind untouched and, move on. get a grip of yourself pls,
before its.too.late.

wanted: solitude

2007-11-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

Every ending is the new beginning, I wonder whats the beginning to this one.

Bring up my history, and you've just did the best thing you could ever do for me. Sometimes I just feel like asking straight t your pretty face why youre being such a gooood kiddo(sarcasm)(note the word: kid) cmon grow up will you, for the sake of yourself. so much for saying that youve "repent", then whats all this? E M P T Y promises, save it for others who'd believe. if it turns upside down inside out, pray lady luck's on your side this time.

when things dont go your way, being ignorant is only a temporary escapade. t clear things would mean so much because at least youve got yourself a better picture of everything. never wanted it t turn this way. but if what i do doesnt give me the result that i want, then fair enough. cause at least i've tried. learn t forgive & forget. but hey, chances come and go. treasure who/what you have.

two hands clap; sound. one hand claps (impossible); being silly. thanks for the truth, though it didnt really felt good t hear it. ha ha you kidding me, its the truth afterall right? well, all the best t you man (: be good!

t my dearest most loveliest bracia (ha ha), come back in one piece alright. i'll be praying for your safety there & of course a safe journey back. rmb dont fall aight! though you said you wont, im not so sure hoho (if yknow what i mean) dont forget t bring me my bald PEEBOY kay! sayang sama kamu lah, sungguh! (chey, gitu eh)

liy, dont think i can make it for pementasan. i'll try t but tak janji eh. sorry half

Great.

Bijak sungguh memadah kata

2007-10-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

the story behind it all, tragic.

I wouldn't trade them for anything

sytyatfbfgfyashgyawyIDGADBYApikpclbgthwybbsnokbkioidb (ily still)

you did it again, blatantly. i know you dont care, i wish you do even a little. as.you.wish. whatever for your sake.

It's there, but it's not meant for me

2007-09-22T20:20:00.000+08:00

For a second, I thought that everything's gone down the drain. Wasted and unappreciated. But I'm so super grateful that i'm wrong (feeeeyuuuu) It's good to have things back in place again, thats for sure.

Anyway, I'm having this bad impression of those who wants to give good service. No offence though but they are so impartial as to who gets the good service. Yeah I have better things to do, but I cant help noticing. Sometimes, its just too obvious even a blind man can see. Ohwell, who am I to say?

So today's the second time I've been to the food bazaar near home. Pretty much the same like past years. But I still love the atmosphere, that didnt change (: hahaaa dont talk to me bout Geylang. Thats the best no doubt (whooots!)

Longest yard with brother before break fast. Movies with american football storylines are awezomeeeee, I like alot! Hahah wheehoo (:

edit/

btw, the hair's short and skruuuueddd :/

Di laut ku hamparkan kasih

2007-09-18T19:43:00.000+08:00

I won't be bothered anymore. Do what you want, so long as you're happy.

Edit/

Yknow what, you can have it all.. Take it to your heart's content.

I'm still searching for It, but I'm lost

2007-09-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

long-overdued beach dates? imy half.

If you really think so, then why wouldn't you just spit it all out? Was it necessary for you to say all that whenever we talked about it? I mean, I wish I could shrug it off. But its not that easy you see..

Creeeeepy crawlies aren't exactly a girl's best friend (definitely not mine) But at least I don't freak out as badddddd as mom! Hahah, she's so horrrrified of lizards. Especially when they're in the house! Another episode of "Ohmygod where's your dad when we need him?!" (inserts the stressed & agitated face) I'm not complaining, cause it's always nice to watch an encore *evil grins* But I do help out hookay, I keep her calm(er)

Watched 28 weeks later with brother. Gruesome, gory, inhuman. That freaked me out, whooosh.

I'm just keeping it real

2007-09-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

Tell me if you're sad. (cause I am)

dont ask why ):

The power to plan. Whatever happens next (or not) is beyond our control. I know you deserved better, but the least you can do now is to make the best out of it. I know you will. All the best!

(dont be disappointed cause there's still a looong way to go, still proud of you.)

Don't even bother, it's always the case.

2007-09-13T20:39:00.000+08:00

two typical camwhores, fuhyoooo.

If you feel that it's not worth it, then why go on? Sometimes I feel that you just got to figure out whats best for you. Not about what you want. Thinking that you've got what it takes and no other can beat you hands down? Your ego is your downfall my dear.

Anyway, congrats to the dearest five! You know who you are :D Yes, you've done us all proud. But I'm telling you now that I'll give you back what I owe. Hahah yes, for that prank of yours!And I cant believe I fell for it.

Oh which reminds me. Selamat menyambut bulan Ramadan yang sunggggguh mulia ini! Hahah ingat.. Jangan puasa yok-yok pagi-pagi buka periuk! I just love Ramadan, its just something that I look forward to each year (best)

If only You knew what I meant

2007-09-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

plus Su of course

They make me whole. Take them away, and you'll leave me empty inside. Thinking that they'll always be there, I took what I treasure most for granted. I know it doesn't work that way, I realise. I don't want to lose them.

Whatever it takes, before it's too late

2007-09-09T13:19:00.000+08:00

Clinging on to a glimpse of Hope (hopefully)

2007-09-08T18:59:00.000+08:00

I understand what you mean, but I dont get why
Afraid that you'll leave the wrong impression
But by leaving me hanging like this
It doesnt make much difference
You decide.

Nope, I'm not dead just yet. Thought you've gotten rid of me didnt you? Hahah well, I'm still alive and kicking but struggling (like always) So, its been four months and man look how much i've grown! You've guessed it, i'm lamer than ever.

But anyway, so much has happened since then.

shopping spreeeee (uhuhh)

we had fun, nccdp

rod '07

AOH, awezome.

Some other significant events as well, but the best memories are kept up there. For the lovely friends i've made through the various events, its nice to have met you people (: I miss Alpha3 plus all the angin girls (hahah!) wacky silly funny plus a very hungry bunch.

what remains a question is, are you willing to?

2007-06-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

AKE till thursday, and I hope everything will go well. May those who're away from civilisation due to OBS come back in one piece. Have fun and take good care alright lovelys! Y

So fine, You got Me lifted feeling so gifted

2007-06-05T14:20:00.000+08:00

You're not going to walk this world alone. I won't let you suffer in silence. I'll be there, yes You can count on me. I may not be the one who solves all your problems but I'll help and guide you along the way. You know I love You, You know I care. If there's anything I can do, if there's anything bothering You, You know I'm a call away. I know You'll pull through cause Youve proven yourself to be a strong person time and time again. And This, is another one of those very tough obstacles in life that You have to overcome. Your sorrow is My pain. You have Me always.

What You have, isn't all Yours

2007-06-03T18:01:00.000+08:00

The sweat, the bruises, the aches. No, It wasnt an easy victory at all I must say. There was nothing else in mind. All we wanted was to give it our best, and not regret later (like we always do) We persevered, yes we endured. Though thoughts of giving up keep appearing in mind, seeing the others going through the same pain made me stand strong. Whenever those few words echoed, hands reached for the ground and knees held on strong. It was beyond words. We raised above all odds, we pulled through. But never did we expected such reward. The smell of victory, the joy, the sense of achievement. It has and it will never be easy being Us, Charlie 07.

I like the way things are now, there's nothing much I can ask for really. Embracing every moment of it. Afterall, the simplest things in life content me. These past few weeks have been a great eye opener for me. Seeing the lifes of others, what theyre going through made me realise things I never knew. Even at this age, some are experiencing more than what they can take. But perhaps, all they need is someone to be there by their side. At least it'll make things better for them to know that they have someone to count on. I appreciate those around me more than they realise. And there's nothing worse than seeing them gloomy all day thats for sure.

The way You make me feel

2007-05-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it's best to tuck yourself in a corner and seek solitude. Shield yourself from all thats happening for a moment. To be out of the situation youre in, and look at the many perspectives makes alot of difference. At least it does to me. I find myself thinking alot lately. Well, the fact is there's many I should think through.

It's got me thinking really, what is it that I want in life. Truth is, Ive yet to figure out. To see a number of my close ones losing their loved ones is just overwhelming. I've seen and read how much this poor soul had to go through when she lost her soulmate. Her future with him in it was all she could see. As much as she loved him, He loved him more. Just when things were going the way they want it to be, it had to take a wrong turn. He's gone and she no longer has him. But nevertheless, she's grateful that she showered him with all the love she could give. Im glad she did, no regrets now. All the best to her, I pray she'll pull through especially with blessings from many.

It's not just death that sets people apart. Seperation for a thousand and one reasons is inevitable. What makes a difference is how one overcomes it. To whoever it may concern, theres no reason for you to go through this alone. I want you to know that you have me. Im saying this for a reason, and thats because I care so much. I cant bear to see you go through this hardship, whatmore alone. I'll be there for you, anytime whenever you need me. Dont say you have no one cause you'll always have me. Problem shared is half the burden, happiness shared is double happiness.

Kau bawa bersama Mimpi indah mekar

2007-05-20T18:50:00.000+08:00

Somehow, what you said was just wrong. Promises made are to be kept. But to you, when theyre made, they can be broken. I really dont understand you at times. How I wish, we could get along better. When I remininsce those times when we enjoy each other's company and able to see eye to eye, I get upset. People change, I'll accept that.

Everything happens for a reason, or so they say. I wont question it cause I know sometimes even those which seems unfavourable to us may end up doing us good. Remember when they say, pick yourself up when you fall cause nobody will wait for you? Yes, its cliche. People say it alot cause hey, it's true.

For every reason there is, I'll be there for you guys no matter rain or shine. I know it hasnt been easy for any of us lately. To see us stand strong and the next moment fall so deep down, nothing can describe how heart-wrenching it was. The tears, the pain that we tried to hide, only we know. Now, realising that we're slowly rising yet again, is a joy. May all that we aimed for all this while, we achieve. We know we have what It takes.

Well, that aside. Though it's kinda belated, it's not too late (I hope)!

You know I love you despite all the hoohaas that has happened for the past three years. Believe me, I'm now immuned to All your yknow what! If not, I would have suffered (HAHH). Sorry I didnt get to msg you the moment it striked midnight thanks to my phone. But hey, I hope I made it up with the morning call. Hahah, it wasnt meant to shock you okay tuwerr. Well, its the thought that counts though I know my voice isnt that great. Thanks so much. And yes, I'll pass It on to you when it's ready yeah. Till then, patience is virtue my dear. Be good and more mature, cause afterall youve turned fab fifteen sweetheart!

Seeing them grow and turn into young men was beyond what I could imagine. Those times when we kid around and played without bothering what people think, was just bliss. Fun was all we wanted and we got. Small little carefree boys they were. But now, I see big boys with big dreams and pretty faces. Hahah, just know what youre doing alright. Remember that youre no longer small kids. You hold the responsibilities for all your actions. Catch up with you guys soon, love you cousins.

It's not easy to be in the music world and rise when youve never entered any known competitions. Thats without a doubt so true especially in a country like ours. But the fact that these guys made it so big is great. They make great music, adding to the fact that theyre a great duo. Theyre something we should be really proud of I must say. Sleeq, theyre real good and I like them alot, plus their songs of course (:

Look mak nenek, Ive updated. It was good to see you so many times this whole week. Dont have to worry about other things alright. You know me, I dont get angry over this kinda things. Whatever you do, do it with you heart and not your head okay. Be good!

And to you know who, like what I told you just now.. If you really want something, give it all youve got and try your best to achieve it. Sometimes, life is just unfair. You may not get what you worked hard for. But that only goes to show that you deserve way better than that alright. You know you have me whenever you need me.

This whole entry has been super random, but I like it the way it is. I hope things will stay this way, or hopefully even better.

Langkahmu tak seindah Bicaramu

2007-04-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

I'll keep Everything aside, for now.
I don't wish to see Anything get any worse.

Trust me, I'm proud of you. I know life's so full of obstacles and at some point of time you just feel like breaking down, ignoring the world around you. But you've got to stay strong. Pick yourself up whenever you fall and move along. These setbacks are the ones that make you be a stronger person. It's not easy to pull through these moments especially when youre alone and have got noone to turn to. That's why I'm telling you now, you've always got me. Don't just keep it to yourself. I'll make time for you whenever wherever. Remember our promise, don't do anything that'll disappoint anyone around you okay (:

Sometimes I just don't get you. Fine, its your life. I know I have no right to step in and stop you. But as someone who cares, I don't quite think its the best option. What's the point of it in the first place? Do enlighten me. Anyhow, you know whats best for yourself. I'll pray for the best.

At times, I wish things could be different. Or at least better. When I see other's lifes and compare them to mine, their lifes are way off better than mine in one way or another. Yet, us being greedy unsatisfied humans, we are never pleased with what we have. I wish I could switch lifes with someone who leads a different life with me for a day! Damn, thats just what I need. Being able to see things from others point of view and knowing that some others are leading a harder life would be a great eye opener. Ohmygod, I wish!!!

Language papers down, sciences humans and everything else to go. Lets just say, I'm so doomed for mids! Damnit damnit. I'll go study and shall not procrastinate no more! Sheeesh.

And so, Ive got to admit I miss 21 & 22 april quite alot. Yes, you too Sheenoneh! Though it was less than 48hrs, it was really something, more than an experience thats for sure. In life, youve just got to do certain things and push yourself way over your limits. Only then would you be able to understand and learn yourself better. Sometimes when you think that youve already put in your bestest best effort, you just need a tad bit more push and youd do way better. You'll be amazed how great you are. But hey, just dont let your ego get the best of you.

All the best for mids. Mugmugmug all the way till the ninth. Until then, it'll be late night each night. Ohwell, study smart guys(: Did I mention, I've got the bestest Grandma ever! I swear she just knocks me off my feet! What more can I ask for than for a someone who would listen to me and have no comments but just understands. I'm glad to have you, I really do. Love you Y

What did You do, You've got me under Your spell

2007-04-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

Tell me what I did, Or what I didnt do

I know I shouldnt take it to heart

I shouldnt even be tearing up right now

But no, it affects me so bad that it hurts

Yes, it hurts and my heart aches

Everything's crumbling, everything's nothing

2007-04-07T01:44:00.000+08:00

It's one of those nights again where i just can't shut my eyes.

Sadness never allows happiness to go alone in life.

2007-04-04T21:24:00.000+08:00

It wasnt jealousy, but it's the disappointment I never thought would hurt so bad. Doesnt matter now.

Good friday hurry come, hurry! Cause people like me just need breaks, long weekends included of course. Finally, I'd have the time to focus on my studies instead of staring at my books with my eyes half closed. Shaash. So, mid years are around the corner. But no, I havent touched any book since the last amath night study. Quit being such a lazypokk nita.. Ohwell, go study!

Life's about there but not there just yet. And oh, which reminds me. I wanna thank all those who wished me on my birthday and it doesnt matter if its belated. It'll definitely be one of the birthdays I wont forget. I mean, what more can I ask for when I have all the ones I love around me on a special day. and getting such warm hugs and wishes from everyone who knows. especially unexpected wishes(: it was utterly sweet of Bravo to plan a surprise for me when I know that they're all busy with their packed schedules.

I just felt something was not right with everything being all so fishy and all those mysterious winks nugdes and grins. Haha you guys got me good you lovey doveys. Oh, the cake was yummaye and ahem the dry ice is a whole different story aye. hurhur. It was just so heartwarming and lovely Y

And yes, ake. training has been fun and oh well lets just say, it's physically and mentally demanding in a way. Plus the tannn :D thankgod I had a nice female ptr for the training. she's just so sweet and all. couldnt have asked for a better ptr than you stella(:

I'm cravingggg for Gummybears!
give me Gummybears Y and you'd make my day.

"Sometimes we tend to be in despair, when the person we love leaves us. But the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person, who wouldn't give up on them... "

2007-03-31T00:34:00.000+08:00

Blessed, I could have never asked for more. Y

2007-03-28T20:23:00.000+08:00

Nope, life hasn't been great. but thats okay (though it's not), cause at least the lovables make up for it each day. I'm getting bored of school thats for sure. hurhur.

Since my blog is pretty much dead, I'm putting in effort to revive it here.. ahwell, its the same routine each day, nothing special or out of the ordinary. after school, either stay back or home straight. shaash, thats how boring my life can get. well, im left with no choice i guess. everyone's going through the same thing and who am I to complain.

So anyway, I was on the way home and like any other typical singaporeans, I had my earpiece plugged into my ears. was tuning in to the a malay radio channel, and coincidentally my favourite segment was on air. if you get the chance to tune in to it, you really should. it'll make a difference. its when people who keep their identity anonymous, voice out and disclose their long kept secrets. so there, one of them kinda left an impact on me.

There was this lady whose secret actually touched me. she's been in a committed relationship with a guy for a period time and they've planned to get engaged by the end of the year. everything went on smoothly but as always, He has everything planned out for us beforehand. they soon found out that the guy was suffering from some kind of incurable disease. okay perhaps thats not the saddest part. how would you feel if you were told that you only have five more years to live, when you for once thought you'd have a bright future ahead? i have no idea how that would feel. but the point is that, thats what the couple is going through.

What breaks my heart is that the guy wants her to leave him for good. he feels that even if she stayed on with him, its not like they're ever gonna live happily ever after. but of course, deep down in his heart, only god knows how much pain he's going through. its definitely not easy on the lady's part as well. perhaps when in this kinda of situation, others would just leave and find themselves a better partner. but no, never in this world would this lady leave her partner no matter what. she promised him that she'd stick by him through thick and thin till the end. for them, the end is decided. its not a guessing game anymore but more of a harsh fact thats slowly settling in. the guy in actual fact doesnt know how it'd be when the time comes for him to leave her and never come back. no one knows, only time will tell.

You might be wondering why I'm telling you all this. yes, perhaps its just some typical promise made in a relationship. but this, I feel is more than just a promise. its an assurance to the guy that at least before his life ends, he can confidently say that he has experienced true love. not many are lucky enough to understand what true love feels and means. for his partner to be there for him, its just very loyal and thoughtful of her. this is in fact, a true love indeed. one would sacrifice anything and everything for someone they truly love and care for. its just so amazing that even in this cosmopolitan world where everything is about money, true love still exist. its just so rare.

Enough of that, but hey its not wrong to reflect about life right. I was just very much inspired. learn from others mistakes, cause life's too short to make them all yourself. okay? okay.

To the fourteen special ones,

Everytime we fall, remember that we have our backs for each other. We'll walk through everything together. each one of you play a significant part in my life. much love guys Y.

(and to my stalking ptr, I'm glad everything's okay now. it sucked while it lasted, totally. but who cares, all you should know now is that I'll always love you no matter what and that I'd do anything just to make it right. sayang dia.)

I've had enough.

Forget It. Do as You want. Who am I to care anyway?

2007-03-14T22:11:00.000+08:00

Booking in at 6 something in the morning. after which, no contact with the outside world for three days (sweet escape, I guess). haha but until then, there's no time to lose. to all, take care and dont take drugs! I'll be back before yknow it, haha :D

Dont let what others say hinder You

2007-03-11T11:43:00.000+08:00

What she is today doesnt give the slighest hint that she actually went through such moments in her life ever before. Death, noone knows when it's their time cause noone can tell nor predict it. It's never simple to move on with life after losing someone so very dear in your life. Whatmore, three deaths in a row. The loss of three precious lives overwhelmed her so bad that she had to take medications cause she was down with depression. It hurts so bad when she regrets not being there for them when they took their last breath. Instead of giving up with life and slogging one side waiting for noone else's but her last breath, she endured and stood strong all the way.

A woman with a very firm belief that things do happen for a reason. And it's from these loss that now she's a stronger person mentally. Including the fact that it changed the way she sees things. Cuase now, she appreciates everything and everyone around her. Her strength and courage in persevering and looking on the bright side of life even though at times there can't seem to be any bright side all, she has earned herself my respect and I'm really proud of her. Her story of her life touched my heart and it made me realise that I have literally no problems compared to some others out there. Thank you for sharing your experience. It opened my eyes, heart and I'm inspired.

finally deeebate is O to the V to the ER! thankgodthankgod. superr damn relieved i swear. to you guys, great job and congrats! cheers! well, it was fun while it lasted i must say. the brain rush and hurry-no-time-to-lose meetings. haha best

debate yesterday and it was fine. i miss all the craps and chaos me and diana used to create. its just different now of course. if only i can turn back time for a million reasons. but hey, its great having you around and knowing that youre still there somewhere behind the pillar or at some corner in school. its always fun to be around you. you know i L to the O to the VE you! heh (:

gave liy a lift back home on friday and we were reminiscing about the past. i mean though its been three months since the beginning of school, we feel as though the class that we're in are only for temporary. yes of course, we're living in denial cause two years is definitely not temporary. but ohwells, only time will tell. missing the class real bad, every single one of them. a gathering is a must (: but anyways, i swear i need to give liy a lesson on how to get on the van. she just keeps embarrassing herself haha. sheesh, i miss doing stuffs together with you too darl.

and so on a lighter note, gonna meet up with bravo later! lovelove. but sad thing is that we're sending part of us off for the ophir expedition. may you guys have a safe trip to and back. you guys will be missed so much of course. have fun okay! Y

prior to her life story, i've been thinking alot about life. my life as a whole and those things and people who makes up my life. well, sometimes it feels good when you've thought things through and know what you want in life. but as for now, i've yet to decide.

For things happen for a reason

2007-03-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

We meet again.

2007-03-01T19:59:00.000+08:00

We have to. We need to change for the better, cause We cant afford to stay this way anymore. We need to live up to others' expectations, cause We cant afford to have people looking down on us anymore. We need to take pride in what we do, cause We cant leave people thinking that We are nobody anymore. We need to prove to them that there's nobody to blame but us, cause We cant afford to depend on others anymore. We need to see things in a greater scope, cause We cant afford to look things only in our point of view anymore, It's way more than that. We need to work hard and achieve what we aimed for, cause We cant afford to hurt them anymore. We need to work together as one, cause We cant afford to have anyone giving up and losing hope anymore. We need to be there for each other everytime, cause We cant afford to have anything coming between us anymore. We need, We really need to. I believe that We have it in us, it's just that We're not putting in enough effort to let it shine. I'm saying this because I know it's true. We'll go through this together, cause nothing in this world can tear us apart. We'll hold each other's hand and walk through fire, and prove that We're worthy of ourselves. We need to do this as one, cause there's no other way anymore. Cause You mean the world to me.

Ever Ready To Overcome

2007-02-28T18:12:00.000+08:00

Its officially over, and I'm so so happy about it. As much as I wanna celebrate, mr cramps just had to spoil everything. Didnt go school today, and I'm missing Bravo so much. To ayah haha, you take care okay! Have lots of rest too alright :D Let them feel being an orphan for a day, Haha! (we should do this more often yknow) Oh and Matair, more old emo malay songs ah!

Each day without them, I feel that a part of me is missing. Bravo, you know that I'd die for you cause you guys mean much to me. After everything that we've went through for the past two years and counting, I can definitely say that we've learnt from our mistakes. Its really good to know that we have our backs for each other. I can never ask for a better company, serious. I dont know why I'm being so emo emo bacin. Perhaps, not seeing anyone of you today just makes me feel lonely. Haha okay. With lots of unconditional love! Y

Exams done, yes! But the results await and I dont know what to expect. I guess reality will come knocking on my door one day and thats when I'll realise. But it'll be too late. Ah well, lets just pray and see.

Class getting along pretty well, and I'm feeling good about it. Haha. I like the idea of having birthday cakes every 2-3 months for all the babies in the class. Haha. Eh and we still have class motto, class shirt, class cheer to discuss about. Not forgetting the class outing. Its what he wants. Besides, when he's happy, we're happy right? Haha.

Okay, so its back to normal lessons tmr. Ahhh, Im already in holiday moood. Wth, Im moodswinging a lot I swear. On the brighter side, there's activity tmr! So it wouldnt be so bad, I guess. Haha.

Oh which reminds me. Chatted with Jingjia the other day. I'm missing everyone in Hangzhou so so much. I cant help but reminisce about the moments that we had. But more importantly to Jingjia, you take care okay. The fact that youre not going to school until september cause of your condition, worries me alot though you said I dont have to. You take care okay friend (:

Ps. Sorry Tasneem dear! I couldnt make it for your match. I wanted to be there and watch you play. Whatever the result is, I'll always love you! Haha. And besides, I know you always play your best for each game :D

Edit/

Haha Tas! I bet the game's postponed cause I wasnt there! I'll come on tuesday lah okay! :P

That could be Mine.

2007-02-24T20:27:00.000+08:00

Taufik & Hady, gorgeous men with awesome voices they are. No wonder girls drool over them, literally. Now, I'm a fan of both (: (kinda slow, but whatever) Taufik & Hady in the house was just so sweet. Thanks for the ticket, thanks for forcing. Discovered some distant cousins whom I never knew of. Common similarities. All the best for your posting to tp fiza (: Anyway, there was this guy who just had t spoil everything, just so plain irritating. But, I had fun! So everything's okay (: Ohmygod Taufik's clone was !!! okay hush Nita

So much for pleasure. Now it's back to late night studies & revisions. It'll be some time before I'll feel free, carefree to be precise.

To those who were in debate today, great job guys. All the stress & sore throats paid off, I guess.

The crying gone. Laughter is the best medicine they say. But to never cry is inhuman.

2007-02-21T20:54:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONSTANCE YEO HUITING! aka SGF Y
Bravo's been blessed to have you as part of us.
It's been great to have you around, nehneh!
For everything that you need, you know who to turn to.
May you be blessed having your loved ones around you always.
Be a good good girl okay sgf, love you! #04

I'll look on the brighter side of life

2007-02-20T11:45:00.000+08:00

The reason I carve a smile each day

Thank God for Them Y

And I actually thought You'd understand.

But no, what was I thinking.

Did You even bother?

I'll. go.

2007-02-05T22:24:00.000+08:00

Congratulations Young Lions
We Are Proud Of You.
okay damn cliche

i swear they deserve it. after all they've been through, the controversy and especially the last league against the their strong opponent thailand, their efforts and of course patience had indeed paid off! okay seriously, those thailand players are superr damn kental, tho i cant deny the fact that they play good games. and goodness, violence doesnt bring you any good dear guys. play a clean game, you'll have a clean win. perseverence is the key to succes and undeniably patience is virtue. the lions managed to portray all of the above damn yes. best, they are my one and only lions.

school was alright. ss test was hookay i guess. english mock and malay paper up next. i need inspirations/ motivations anything i swear! but anyhow, the highlight for today was Bravo plusss two special people! happy birthday sgt! you know You're our one & only. Bravo aprreciates You truly deeply for everything that You've done for us. we're definitely looking forward to many more memorable moments with You! sgt report sickkk!! ((:

time spent with Bravo are always priceless. tho it was just a part dinner, its always something we look forward to. we are who we are. yes we're a loud bunch but thats the way we are. i mean being kecoh is nice yknow. okay so there were lots of laughters, gossips and teasing going on! haha funny silly people, i loooove! Bravo is my love, and I'll never get tired of saying that. oh and I'll tell you what. of all the sticks in the whole world, I love this stick the most!

You love her not because she's beautiful
she's beautiful because You love her

2007-01-30T19:49:00.000+08:00

okay, so yes im finally back with my superr damn overdue entry! but i dont bother if its too late cause at least its better than nothing. so long as i please and satisfy those souls, it'd be fine :D

2006, yes thats last year. it has been the most eventful and sweetest 365 days of my life, well mostly. filled with endless fun and priceless moments, i couldnt have asked for more. i havent had the chance to thank all those sweethearts who had made my year special in its own way. so here they are, the ones..

first and formost, the 15 most gorgeous sols who had gone through both thick and thin with me. these fifteen are the ones whom i love duly and never will i ever regret having gotten to know them. simple, i know you guys know this. but i just have to say it again cause this feeling will never die for you pretty people. i love all fifteen of you, and nothing can ever replace the friendship and bond that we have. bravo, for there's always the brighter side of things :D

if i hadnt joined ncc, there's no way in the world i would have gotten a chance to meet this bunch of wonderful people. and when i say wonderful, its really those downright awesome truly. we worked hard as one, we played hard as one. and we made it happen as one. i miss those days so damn much and i admit that i havent gotten over the withdrawals though it has been long gone. they are missed, and i wish they know that. syf goh3 esp, you people rock my world!

when we get together, we can be the most lamest and kecoh-est bunch ever. despite everything we've went through, i have always enjoyed every moment spent with you guys. seeing you people almost 24hrs each weekday in school was smth that i'd always look forward to. being there for each other, cracking the most silly joke ever just to cheer someone up.. the last two years that i've gone through with you guys are sweet memories kept. slackerz slenger sweethearts, i miss you all truly deeply..

though we're five hours flight apart, nothing in this world can stop me from thinking of you guys. though it was merely ten days, nothing in this world can stop me from loving you guys with all my heart. though we never really had the chance to get to know each other better, nothing in this world can stop me from believing that you people are pretty handsome angels, literary. though i may not be someone so significant to you, nothing in this world can stop me from putting you guys in my most missed list. you guys are special alright..

twoooogeeeethreeeeohhhhsixxxx! six simple words for you! wo ai ni men duo duo, the truth!

the indivdual shoutouts!

okayokay, you have been the most naggy plus motherly plus husbandly plus lovely one! thank you for being there for me and the rest. esp being extra extra protective :P thank you for all your totally damn high-pitched screams though at points of time, it shocks me and causing me to have a tummyache after that. i love you ayah!

my half plussssss your half equals to a whole! damn yes, i'd be incomplete without you. thank you for everything you've done for me the past two years. going through almost everything with you has been a pleasure indeed you slenger. having you during a trip to a far away land which was like an alien to us was great. you be a good okay. anything to rant about, i can lend you my ear. anything you wanna cry out, you can have my shoulder to cry on. love you half/ crime partner (that was so donkey years ago)! <3

to these people your presence have been greatly appreciated and definitely, you've made an impact on my life in a way or another. to my cbf partner, though i made you fall like no other you know i'd always help you up after that. thanks for all the ups & downs! to my ohpir mates, you guys are not forgotten. hell yes, always remembered! to my mm & ddd & bb, hearts you people! to the rest who knows that they are special to me, you will always be. you guys are like pearls to my bubble teas! :D told you it was overdued. but hey, its still january :D

but above all, You were the highlight of it

2007-01-09T20:36:00.000+08:00

just to break the silence. i'll update more soon okay, or when i have the time to rather. many many are badly terribly missed i swear! love you people with all my heart <3

One and Only

2006-12-31T00:32:00.000+08:00

by eight in the morning, i was already at my grand's at pasir ris. okay so yes, my uncle who was in taiwan the other time for hari raya aidilfitri was pretty much the most excited one. so we came over to help spring clean the house. as long as he's happy aye. before that, accompanied mom & aunt to the most happening place on the island. geylanggggg! the atmosphere, the people, the food, the aroma. goodness it was one of a kind. okay i love i swear.

ironically i do look forward to geylang visits as much as i dislike wet markets. geylang is an exception thats for sure. the kecohness and everything is just so gerek. oh and the real thing was that there were kambings grazing on the field! cute little creatures i truly adore.

cleaned the house vacuumed put the lights up rolled the carpets out & wahlah, done! took a nap cause i was damn tired & i woke up smelling what, rendang?! haha okay save it for the gathering lah. reached home, and lovely cousins came over after that. haha yea to pass presentss to my brother! like goodness its about time you turn twelve dude. and yes, watch the replacement! nice show i love. different people from all walks of life coming together, what could be better than that.

okay fine, i havent dedicated anything to you sempena your birthday. so here it goes, happy birthday my flesh & blood. youre not in primary school anymore okay, omg i can finally use that statement! so yeah, grow up and look ahead. dont just think about today cause there's many days ahead of you still. never only think about yourself. cause without the others, who are you. and you better be more gentleman ah! i love you brother despite all those fightings which i cant help but laugh at everytime i think about it. with lots of unconditional love, be a good man okays.

so now to all umat Islam seluruh dunia chey, selamat menyambut hari raya aidiladha yang mulia pada hari ini di samping keluarga yang tersayang. kalau ada tersalah silap, maaf zahir dan batin ku pinta ya.

school's opening really soon & i think i should start panicking haha. but hoooyaa, i smell 1st jan coming so that neutralises my fear hah! oh and liy, no more idiots here okay idiot.

just so You know

2006-12-26T20:13:00.000+08:00

i'm so sick and tired i swear.

oh wells, bravo joyyy tmr i cant wait! generous amounts of huggs & undivided lovee.

to boria,

you dare call me piece of shit! haha you'd be calling yourself one then, chet. oh god flashbacks. everytime i recall those moments i cant seem to help but shed a tear or two. im not being emotional btw. but of course i miss those times we go crazy and be naive at the same time in a place so alien to us! i love i love i love. jing jia said she missed me too & that she'd welcome me if i were to step there again! im sure it goes the same for you! that adorable buddy of ours. well i guess cup noodles and i mean no ordinary cup noodles days, never dies!

it's no fairytale.