family ; we are living up to it
The cycle of thoughts repeats itself exhaustively in your mind. It drains every ounce of emotion in you as you ponder over the potential consequences of your actions; the gain or the pain. But life's about taking risks and you very well realise that. Sometimes in order to achieve what you want, you have to do things that you may not favour or are way beyond your capacity (or so you think). What was once seemed out of your reach is now closer to you more than ever and you owe it all to your pillars of strength. Given the better prospects of the situation, the idea of a happy ending floats into many minds.
Then, it hits you that the only reason why fairytales heavily emphasize happy endings is because it is, for a lack of a better word, a rare occurence in real life! Even before this realisation settled itself comfortably in you, that bitter bitter fickle-minded side of you had begun revealing itself. What you once religiously wished for, doesn't seem to bring much joy and happiness as you perceived it would. Reason being; the more connected you are, the less possible the idea of getting to know the person becomes.
Mhmm, how does that happen? I've yet to comprehend it myself.
Sometimes, you feel like nothing can touch you.
drag you down,
or stop you from having that fuzzy wuzzy feeling that joy brings,
simply, "nothing can make me unhappy".
And the reason for such arrogance: the brick walls you've built around yourself
those walls they are there because of your own insecurities,
the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of breaking down too easily.
for being weak.
So they've proven their use,
no one close can barge in and see that delicate side of you,
you are now in control.
Then someday, you get caught offguard and the shield
you've depended on so heavily proves useless
Your arrogance have failed you. you've never expected an
acquaintance
to ever have so much power in breaking down those walls you built.
who is this aquaintance?
why him? what does it all mean?
He didn't just bring you down, he left you confused.
No
longer in
control.
We're changing, but nothing changes us. Despite the toughest of hardships that we have and are going through, together or alone, neither of us should forget that we will always have each others' backs. We are not like the rest, meeting up ever so often to catch up. Talk over coffee? Not even over lesson breaks. But you know what G and M, I don't feel the slightest threatened about losing our friendship. Not the very least. We've had our fair share of arguments and misunderstandings, but we owe it to them for making us last this far. I know as I write right here right now, both of you are facing your hard times. It disturbs me just as much seeing the two of you in such bad states. Regardless, please be strong for yourself. Be strong for whoever that's worth your efforts and strengths. Be brave, Girls.
hi my name is muhammad syafiq saad (dont ask me how i got here, i just did) i dont understand why nita said that because i think im wayyyyy more weird than her. like who am i kidding right? im the ultimate weird diet boy~
P.S I look best in blue
I'm tired of keeping up with you. I'm tired of rebutting, putting my point across. Tired of giving in, losing. Of having my patience tested. I'm really tired of having that ovewhelming fear get to me first thing in the morning. Doesn't it ever get to you like how it gets to me? I don't even know if you've realised that I've given up and that you've won. truth is, there's no way it'd be the other way around.
So I'm letting my guard down,
Take a break from trying.
Sometimes, that's all you really need.